


Until it's Gone

by morgana_fire



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hospital Setting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 15:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4710929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana_fire/pseuds/morgana_fire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin was busy at work until he received some unexpected visitors.  Now his life has literally been turned upside down as he makes some important decisions with his life.  One he should have made long ago but now may be to late.  He sits by the hospital bedside, hoping beyond hope he gets a second chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until it's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little story I've had on my computer for a while. Dusted it off and thought I would publish it. Any mistakes are mine and if there are any hugely glaring errors please let me know :) or any additional tags. I'm terrible when it comes to tagging...

“Mr. Durin, there’s someone here to see you.” His secretary's voice came through the intercom.

“I don’t want to be interrupted.” Thorin snapped back as he shifted papers this way and that on his desk, trying to find the manuscript he was looking for. Most of the world may have gone electronic, but a publishing company, at least this one, still heavily relied on old fashioned paper forms for many things. Too be honest, Thorin preferred paper over a computer any day; it was easier on his eyes. Frerin kept telling him to convert to digital, but he just simply refused. With E-books becoming more and more popular he knew it was only a matter of time, but for now Dís was taking charge in that area; but Thorin still loved the feel of a book in his hands, the paper in front of him real and solid and not on some tiny ass monitor. 

“Sir, it’s the police. They say it’s important.”

Thorin paused, his forehead creasing with confusion. What did the police want with him? He got up with a sigh and went to his door and stepped through. There at Deborah’s desk stood two men in suits. To be honest their attire had seen better days from the look of it as they were a bit wrinkled and threadbare in areas. One man was taller than the other, plumper as if he spent a lot of time behind a desk and one too many sweets in his hand, his five o'clock shadow was very pronounced and his dark brown hair was a bit shaggy and unkempt. The other man was slimmer, bags under his eyes, skin pale, his light blond hair was at least neat and he had a mustache that was trimmed and sat above his upper lip.

“Thorin Durin?” The smaller one asked taking a step towards him with his hand outstretched. Thorin nodded taking the offered hand.

“Yes.”

“I'm Detective Moss and this is my partner, Detective Davis.” Thorin nodded, getting more confused by the minute as he shook the other man’s hand as well.

"What's this concerning?" Thorin asked.

“I knew they would come take you away one day Bro.” Frerin laughed as he walked towards them. His shoulder bumped into Thorin's earning him a death glare which was obviously ignored as he introduced himself to the officers. “So…warrant, DUI’s, parking tickets…” Frerin lean in closer to the officers. “Prostitutes?” His eyebrows wriggling suggestively. 

The officers were clearly not impressed as they glanced at each other, silently communicating as only seasoned offices seemed able to do. Thorin grabbed his brother by the back of his neck and shoved him behind him.

“Owww, just kidding sheesh.” Frerin said as he rubbed at his neck.

“I’m sorry, he doesn’t get out much."

“I resent that.” 

“Don’t you have the Arwen Diaries to be working on?”

“Nope, just finished.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Thorin muttered, because that meant Frerin was free and clear for awhile and would no doubt be bothering him. A throat cleared and the heavy set man handed Thorin a small photo which he took automatically and looked down. His blood ran cold as he did.

“Do you recognize this man?”

The air was suddenly hard to breath, as if there was a metal constraint across his chest that was slowly tightening. The bottom of his stomach seemed to fall out and a very bad taste filled his mouth. Something was wrong here, very wrong.

“Yes.” He whispered out and couldn’t say anything when Frerin yanked the picture out and looked at it. His eyes jerked back to the officer. “What…?”

“Who is this?” He vaguely heard Frerin ask.

“His...his name is Bilbo Baggins.” Thorin forced the name from his lips.

“Would you be able to identify him?”

"Like a police lineup?" Frerin asked.

"I'm afraid there has been an incident and we would like you to come down and identify the body."

The world tilted dangerously to one side and Thorin was sure he would have hit the ground if his brother hadn’t caught him. He placed a hand on Deborah’s desk for balance, as Thorin's legs began shaking uncontrollably.

“How…I don’t…What do you mean? What incident?” Things were getting a little bright and blurring and he had to blink to clear his vision. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

“Are you alright sir?”

“He’s… he's dead?” Thorin heard his voice crack and couldn’t give a damn what the others thought at that. Deborah was standing behind her desk and he could feel Frerin’s presence beside him, unusually silent for once. He knew he was looking at the Detectives, but Thorin really wasn't seeing them, or anything. 

“That's what we need you for. We found a victim with no identification on him; it's taken us a while to track down someone who recognized him.” The man paused a moment. “If you know someone else we could contact –“

“I’ll come.” Was that his voice? “Let me, ah, just, umm grab my jacket.” Legs unsteady Thorin wasn’t sure how he made it back into his office. His eyes must have sweep over his jacket three times before he recognized it. 

“Thorin?” Frerin asked quietly and Thorin looked at him and blinked, he was feeling a bit confused. "Are you alright? Do you know that person?"

Thorin could only nod and turned to head back to the door.

"Sir, would you like for us to drive you or meet us there?" Detective Moss asked.

"No, I...I will meet you there." 

“I’ll drive you. You're obviously not in the right frame of mind to be driving or left on your own.” When Thorin only nodded Frerin's frown deepened. The detectives gave them directions to St. Mary's Hospital where they would meet them and escort them down to the morgue.

The car ride was silent, if his brother asked any questions, Thorin didn’t hear them, his mind had gone wandering into the past. Bilbo, Bilbo, he repeated over and over in his head. Not his Bilbo. This wasn't happening, couldn't be happening. Maybe he just feel asleep at his desk and was having a nightmare. Reality was crumbling, he could feel it, the edges cracking, shifting, waiting for the final blow that would surely devastate him, kill him, if not physically, them emotionally. How would he go on?

It was with a sense of detachment that Thorin watched the drive before him. Almost a dreamlike phosphorous as Frerin parked the car and they walked into the building. None of it felt real. This had to all be some terrible nightmare. The detectives were waiting for them just inside the Hospital and escorted them down to the lower levels. Places only employees were allowed to go. 

The air felt cooler, the walls here were plain white along with the tiled floor. Antiseptic smell permeated the air, almost a bit too strong making your nose sting slightly. The room they were taken too was sterile, the tiles and floor an ugly pale pea green and off white that, for some reason or other, people thought looked good in hospitals. Metallic surfaces shined dully in the overhead lights, the counter tops, the large refrigerators and autopsy tables; the room seemed stark and cold. 

They were taken into the next room which clearly housed the deceased. The smaller rectangle doors in a uniform of rows and columns on the wall clearly visible. It was as if he was walking into a damn movie scene, or something off of T.V. Thorin's attention moved towards the center of the room where a metal table on wheels sat. A body lay on top of it, covered by a white sheet. There was no blood soaking through, no instruments used for an autopsy. Everything was clean and in order, as if just waiting for his confirmation. The florescent light above flickered and hummed and Thorin's heart pounded as his blood rushed to his head, making him dizzy.

Detective Moss walked over to the table and waited until Thorin was ready. Would he ever be ready for this? He wanted to run, wake up from this nightmare, anything but be here now. But he couldn't; he had to know. Frerin placed a hand on his shoulder and the warmth immediately sunk through his clothes and warmed his skin. It was enough to give him some courage, a message that he wasn't alone. Swallowing, he took a step and then another and all too soon he was standing there, looking down at the sheet which was pulled back to reveal the face beneath.

It was like a punch to the gut and all the air rushed out of him, his hands tightly griping the edges of the table hard enough to imprint the edge that would last for hours. He shook his head and tears fell unchecked. When he pulled in air and gasped, it was with a bit of relief when he looked at the officer. 

“It’s not him.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” He nodded eyes flickering back down to the man. His hair was the same shade and curl as Bilbo’s, but the check bones, nose, that mouth, god, he would know Bilbo's mouth anywhere, was not the one he knew. Similar, very similar, but not his Bilbo. His world was coming back into focus, shakily but still uncertain and he could see how this man could be confused to be Bilbo Baggins. This man’s face and been beaten and bruised making the features more skewed. 

“Are you positive Mr. Durin?” Thorin looked up at the man.

“Very.”

The man sighed and covered up the cadaver and suddenly Thorin had to get out of there, needed some fresh air or he was going to lose what was left in his stomach. Somehow he made it outside to fresh air and onto a bench where he put his head between his legs and took in deep breaths to settle his stomach. Frerin sat down beside him and ran a hand up and down his back.

“Wanna fill me in?” His brother asked quietly. 

Thorin pulled his cell from his pocket and dialed Bilbo’s number. It jumped right to voice mail. Fuck, which meant it was either turned off or … no he wasn’t going to think that word for a while. He dialed another number. This went to voice mail after several rings.

“Gandalf, call me as soon as you get this, it’s about Bilbo.”

“Thorin?”

His hand was shaking when he punched in the next number. It rang but was quickly picked up. 

“Yes?”

“Have you heard from Bilbo?”

“Ah, Thorin, such a pleasant way to start a conversation.”

“Have you seen Bilbo?” He gritted out.

“I’m sorry but our company protects the rights of our clients. I’m sure if you want to write him a letter you may address it to the address found on our website, or submit it in a fan mail …”

“God damn it Thranduil, just tell me if you’ve heard from him," Thorin took a deep breath. "Please. For the love of all things please tell me you’ve seen him or heard from him recently.”

There was a heavy pregnant pause on the other end. “Not since that night he signed the contract.”

“Nothing?” That panic was back, a different sort than before. “No follow up call, no no book signings or PR appointments?”

“Has something happened?” The ice king’s voice actually seemed concerned.

“I, I don’t know. I’ll let you know. If you hear from him, have him call me, please. I’ll do anything.”

“Mr. Durin?” Thorin clicked his phone off and looked up at the officer. “Could we ask you some questions?” His eyes flicked towards Frerin and then back. “We can do so in private if you’d like.” Thorin felt Frerin stiffen beside him and he wanted to laugh but knew it would sound a bit hysterical at this point.

“No, I’m sure he has his own questions and I don’t want to repeat myself.”

“My partner has obtained us an empty room if you’re ready.”

The room was a consultation room; there was a small couch he and Frerin occupied as the officers took the over-padded chairs that sat across from them. Detective Davis pulled out his mini pad while the other wrote in an old fashioned note pad, one that seemed well used.

“So, the man in the photos name?”

“Bilbo Baggins.”

“Do you have his address, phone number, a list of contacts?”

“Yes.” Thorin told them what he knew.

“And your relationship to this Mr. Baggins?”

“He, “ Thorin licked his. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“What?!” Frerin exclaimed.

“Frerin…” Thorin growled.

“Since when? I’ve never seen that man before, nor heard you mention him and you claim he is your boyfriend?”

“How long have you two been together?” 

“Over two years.”

Frerin jumped off the couch and paced to the end of the small room hands in his hair as he turned back.

“Two fucking years Thorin?” Frerin chuckled a bit darkly. “This certainly clears up a few things. I can’t fucking believe you’ve kept this secret for so long. It’s just like you to, to hide things.” Thorin did not look at his brother, knowing this talk was a long time coming. “I take it no one else in the family knows, god forbid father. Jesus Thorin, what the hell were you thinking?”

Thorin inhaled sharply more pain shooting through his already traumatized heart. “What I was thinking?” He could feel his eyes burning, his throat closing up, he clenched his jaw. “Right now I am thinking of all the horrible things I said to him when I saw him last and now wondering where the hell he is.” He turned a pleading look towards the officers. "Do you know what has happened to him?"

“I’m sorry Mr. Durin, but you’ve been our biggest lead on this case. The John Doe in the morgue had no identification on him, no outstanding markings. The phone he was carrying was crushed and we were able to pull only that photo off, and there was this in his jacket pocket."

The Detective pulled out the card from his own pocket and handed it over for Thorin to look at. He remembered this quite clear and gave a small bark of laughter. "I gave this to him, when we first met. I can't believe he still had it."

“Have you tried contacting Mr. Baggins?”

“Just a before we came back in. No answer, went straight to voice mail. His editor is difficult to get a hold of and currently out of the country. I called his publisher and they haven’t heard from him in over a week.”

"His editor?"

"Bilbo is an author, just signed on with Greenleaf Publishing."

"And when was the last time you spoke with Mr. Baggins?"

Thorin closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "It's a...it's been about a week."

“That seems to be a long time with no contact if you're in a relationship.”

Thorin took a few deep breaths, trying to regain a bit of control on his emotions; it was a fast losing battle. There was a soft touch on his arm and he opened his eyes to see one of the officers holding out a tissue box. He took one and taking a shaky breath in held it before letting it out.  
“We didn’t, part on good terms that night. We’ve been keeping our relationship quiet and with him signing up with our rival publishing company…well, we fought. He was coming out of the closet, one of the reasons he signed with Greenleaf publishing. My, father’s view on same sex relationships is well known. I felt ...I was angry, and he didn't want...didn't...damn it.” His breath hitched and tried to control it. “The things I said, I’m such a fucking idiot. It's not unusual not to hear from him for s-so long when we're fighting.” His voice cracked on that last word. 

“He has no family or friends we could contact?” The smaller officer had gone to a corner and was quietly conversing on his phone.

“He, h-has distant relatives back in Hobbiton…The Shire I believe. His parents passed away some time ago. I can give you a list of who I do know.”

“Do you think he may be visiting them?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I…we had plans for this coming weekend…fuck, I-I don’t…” Thorin covered his face with a hand and lost it. Sobs racked his body and on some level he was sure he was making an ass of himself. And then a warm body turned him on the couch and engulfed him in a fierce hug. He gladly buried his head into his brother’s shoulder and clutched at him. It took him several minutes but he was finally able to get himself under control. "I'll head over to his place and see if he is there. But we have never gone this long without contacting each other. I just...just thought he was giving me time to cool down."

When Thorin pulled back, he made use of the tissues and one of the officers had a cup of water for him. “I think you answered all the questions we have for now. If something comes up or you hear anything, please contact us.” The man held out a card and Thorin took it and slipped it into his pocket. “I would suggest not being alone tonight. This can be a traumatizing event for anyone. Go home and get some rest.” The larger officer reached a hand down and squeezed his shoulder, understanding in his eyes. “Don’t feel rushed to leave the room. Leave when you’re ready. We’ll be in touch.” The door click softly behind them and the room was silent.

He finally found his balls to look at his brother. Frerin looked, concerned and scared. His own blue-green eyes were red with unshed tears. “Now or later?” Thorin asked him a bit tiredly.

"I would prefer now, but l can wait a bit longer. I want to know why the hell you didn't tell any of us."

“I thought that would be obvious.”

“Fuck you Thorin, you think we all conformed to Dad’s views? That none of us would support you? Two fucking years!” He grumbled and looked down at his suit. “And you owe me a new suit and shirt.”

A dry chuckle escaped Thorin’s lips, if a bit hysterically. 

"Come on, let's get out of here."

"I need to go to his place."

"Ya, I figured as much. Come on."

The car ride was mostly silent, broken briefly and softly as Thorin gave Frerin directions. His mind was in a constant state of thought, but it jumped from subject to subject, never stopping on just one topic. He wasn't going to admit it yet, but Thorin was terrified of what he would do if Bilbo...if Bilbo was dead. Or what if they never found him? Too many what ifs; it was making his stomach twist unpleasantly.

Bilbo’s apartment was a nice bungalow within the city of Dale. Full of windows and sunlight, plants littered the sills and counter tops with greenery, blooms reaching for the light; quite the opposite of Thorin’s modern sterile high-rise in Erebor. The living room was inviting with overstuffed chairs and couch, perfect for days spent reading and cuddling on. The walls were lined with shelves which were full of knickknacks, and books. So many books that they were crowed where they could be squeezed into. There were even several piles on the floor and against the walls. And so many photos. Photos of Bilbo and his friends and family, past and present. Many of those photos were of Bilbo and Thorin together; Frerin stopped to look at them. 

Thorin headed straight to Bilbo’s office. The shades were still down, his computer had switched to sleep mode and envelopes and papers from Greenleaf Publishing were still lying on the table where they were since Thorin had been there last. Easing himself into Bilbo's chair, Thorin moved the mouse slightly and the computer jumped to life. He went straight to Bilbo's email; nothing had been opened since that night. Thorin just stared at the screen, at a loss for what to do.

Standing he headed towards the kitchen. There were some plates and tea cups still in the sink. Thorin's eyes caught site of a broken plate that still sat on the floor. Guilt filled him as he remembered his little tantrum and broke the thing. Bilbo wouldn't have left the house without cleaning up unless it was for something important. Placing his hands on the countertop, Thorin hunched his shoulders. Just out the back door was a small enclosed garden, full of blooms and vegetables. Even though he knew Bilbo wouldn't be there Thorin couldn't help himself to hope to see a familiar head bent over and humming as he weeded and pruned the rows.

“Wow, it’s like you…live here.” Frerin said softly behind him. Thorin grunted.

“I spend my fair share here. Really couldn't stay at my place."

“And here we thought you were working yourself to death with all that,” He moved his fingers into quotations. “Overtime. HA, wait until Dwalin finds out about how you’ve been spending your evenings.”

Thorin didn’t have a reply, in fact he felt so drained and empty, and just wanted to lay down.

"So...you're gay?"

Heaving a sigh Thorin turned around, leaning back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. "I wouldn't say that per se..."

"You have a boyfriend." Frerin deadpanned. "That you've been seeing for over two years."

"I have never looked at another man before I met Bilbo. And I still don't, alright?"

"Hey, it's alright. Thorin, I'm not judging you here. I don't hold fathers beliefs okay?" Frerin said softly as he moved over and placed a hand on Thorin's tense arm. He felt him relax marginally and watched as his jaw unclenched a bit. "But he did get you to switch teams." Frerin wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh god, this is exactly why I was delaying him meeting you." Thorin groaned.

"I hope I get that chance." Frerin said quietly. “No sign of him then?” 

Thorin could only shake his head. “Nothing has changed since that night.” Thorin’s cell rang and he quickly picked it up. “Hello?”

“Thorin, what the hell is going on? Where are you and Frerin and what’s this I hear about the police showing up and taking you away?”

He groaned and handed his phone to Frerin, he just did not have it in him to discuss this with Dis. Walking into Bilbo's bedroom, their bedroom, he sat down on the still made bed. He curled up on his side and pulled one of Bilbo's pillows towards him and inhaled the familiar scent. Exhaustion overtook him and he just wanted to sleep.

Frerin's voice floated to him from the other room. “He’s fine, we're fine…No I can’t explain just yet….they were looking for a missing person…no one I know but Thorin does.” Frerin heaved a deep sigh and pulled the phone away from his ear. “She wants answers and you know she won’t stop until she gets something.”

“Tomorrow. Need some sleep, and get my thoughts together first.” Thorin mumbled. 

“Get the family together tomorrow night; this is some…big news. Yes I know…No I’m not telling you until Thorin is ready. Dis, just call everyone and met us at the manor tomorrow. We’ll see you then.”

There was a slight tugging on his feet as Frerin took his shoes off and covered him with a blanket. “Need anything?”

Thorin shook his head and blindly reached for Frerin’s hand. “Thanks.” He mumbled before letting his hand fall back and sank into darkness, Bilbo’s scent comforting him. 

***********************

Thorin sat off to the side, Frerin his keeper, shooing those away that tried to weasel what was going on out of him and get his thoughts together. They were just waiting for their father to get there, Thrain Durin. Taking a deep breath, Thorin tipped back the glass of liquid courage feeling the burn with a welcoming warmth. The effects could be felt immediately as the contents hit his near empty stomach.

Dís kept throwing him scowls when she thought he wasn’t looking, a long wine glass stem held loosely in her hand as her husband poured more red wine into it. Her son’s, Fíli and Kíli, were not far off from their parents. They had some portable game console in their hands and Fíli shouting his triumph as Kíli moaned at his loss. Balin sat talking quietly with Dáin, who was visiting for the month from the Iron hills. His wife was expecting their third child and would be leaving soon to head back to his family after taking care of some business. Arkenstone Publishing was flourishing well in the Iron Hills. It was an older market, much different to Erebor’s more modern crowd. But even their technology was expanding and Dain needed a crash course with e-books and how to handle the electronic side of publishing. Dwalin just brooded, common brand beer in-hand as he stood to the side. Thorin hadn’t talked to him much in the past few years, in fact they had grown apart which made Thorin frown. There was a time when they had been inseparable. When had things changed?

Must have been when he met Bilbo and started spending most of his free time with him. He would need to rectify that situation, if Dwalin would still speak to him after tonight that is. Although Dwalin was the only one who had chosen not to stay in the family business, and instead headed out on his own. Thorin wondered what he was doing now.

Froina, his mother, was sitting next to Balin, the sound of her voice reaching his ears but not enough for Thorin to make out. Dís turned to her and commented on whatever it was. How many of his family would he see after this night? It hurt, that thought, but not as much as not knowing where Bilbo was. If only…no, he had to stop the if only self-talk, it only did more harm than good. He can only move forward and learn from his mistakes.

“Sorry about that, last minute surprise meeting that couldn’t wait.” Thrain said as he strode into the room. His father looked good for his age, his body was still strong and healthy, still had a full head of hair even though it was all grey and his blue eyes were still sharp as knives. “Now, what’s this all about?” He demanded as he sat next to his wife, taking her hand in his and placing a kiss to the back of it. 

Frerin looked towards him as he stood and finally joined them, his brother standing just off to his side in quiet support. He stood so that he was facing them all and took a collective moment to give them one last look.

“I have something I’ve been keeping secret that I should have told you all years ago.” Dís raised a trembling hand to her mouth, his mother’s eyes turned down slightly as she looked at him, small smile on her face even though he could see a bit of fear in her eyes. Even Fíli and Kíli had quieted and were paying attention. The mood in the room felt strangely suffocating. “God, I don’t even know how to say this.” Frerin’s hand came and rested on his shoulder and he nodded his head in thanks for the support. “I’ve…been seeing someone for the past two years.”

“Oh, thank god, I thought you were telling us you were dying or something.” Dís gushed. “Idiot.” She grinned.

“Well, why didn’t you bring her here to meet us?” His father chucked. “About time my boy found someone.”

“Really Thorin, you should have brought her here. Two years? Why have you waited so long?” His mother asked.

His nephews rolled their eyes and went back to their game, Balin and Dáin looked at each other and Dwalin frowned slightly. They knew him well, and knew this was the least of his news.

“That’s because there is no she. His name is Bilbo Baggins.” The room was silent.

“What do you mean a he? ”

“You’re gay?” Kíli voice was blunt and stunned and caused the rest of the room to morph into conversation all at once.

“I wouldn’t say gay.” Frerin tried to help. 

“I don’t date men, just Bilbo.”

“Who is this Bilbo Baggins?” Thrain demanded. “If you have been dating then where the hell is he?” A pained expression passed over Thorin’s face. “I don’t believe this. Is this some kind of joke, because I can tell you right now it is not funny."

"For two years?" His mother's voice sounded stunned.

"You ashamed of us ladie, or him?" Balin asked.

"This isn't a joke and I am being very serious. I have been in a relationship with a man for the last two years and if he is willing, I hope for a very long time."

"This better not be some bad joke Thorin." Thrain said, his voice low and menacing.

"It's no joke, I love him."

"You will end this farce..this supposed relationship,” Thrain hissed out. “Now. And do what you were raised to do."

“And what is that?” Thorin asked quietly. 

“Find a good decent woman, get married and have children. You can’t even have a family in that type of life style, how could you even be happy in it.” 

“He has made me very happy. I feel complete when I am with him, like we were meant to be together.”

Thrain scoffed. “I find that hard to believe. He's brain washed you, I will call Dr. Zhou and set up an appointment immediately.”

“Dad, just listen…”Frerin cut in.

“Don’t tell me he has convinced you as well?” 

“There is nothing to convince, if you could have seen…”

“Seen what? That he’s too much of a cowered to even face us? He must be a piece of work and laughing at how much a fool he’s made of you.” Thrain shoved a finger towards Thorin.

“It was HIS idea not to say anything. He didn’t want me to have to choose between my family and him!” Thorin almost shouted as his voice was rising to dangerous levels.

“Most likely he is using you for your money then. I know those types and how flamboyant and extravagant they can be.”

“Bilbo’s not like that.” Thorin ground out.

“I don’t see you denying it.” Thrain had a glint of triumph in his eyes.

“Thorin, does this have anything to do with the police?” Dís asked.

“Police?” Someone said.

“Bilbo’s missing.” Thorin told them. “The police needed someone to identify a body, but it wasn’t him.” Dís gasped. “Thorin.” She stood and took a step towards him, but her husband grabbed her hand, preventing her from going to him.

“Most likely ran off with another man. You know how those types are, flighty, loose morals, quick hook ups. Good riddance, now you can see the error of your ways and get back on the right path. Find a girl, settle --”

Thorin wasn't prone to actual violence. Usually his death glares are enough to scare most people off before it gets to the actual physical hands on part; let alone raise a hand to his parents…ever. But now he stood over his father, hands fisted at his side, not even sure how it had happened. He could already see the bruising on his father's check. A terrible rage filled him as he stared down, his body shaking with it. 

“I love him and I will find him.” Frerin pulled him back as their father stood; everyone was on their feet now. Balin quickly went over to Thrain to check his face, and Dwalin took a step closer to him.

“This is your last chance boy." Thrain practically growled low and dangerously. 

“Or what?” Thorin asked.  
“I will disown you.” Thorin took a quick step back, eyes wide and blinking. He knew this was a possibility, but the reality was still a slap in the face. “You will no longer be my son, you will no longer work for the company and if anyone from this family has anything to do with you they will receive the same fate.”

The thing he had feared, and what Bilbo didn't want to happen, stood before him. And it wasn't as painful as he thought it would be. He loved his family, would do almost anything for them. But Bilbo was his life, his heart, he couldn't live without him. A strange peace filled him and he smiled sadly at his mother. She blinked quickly but her tears were falling. “Thrain, please think about this, no need to be so rash.” She pleaded.

“It’s alright mother. Deep down I knew I would have to make this decision eventually if I wanted a long-term relationship with Bilbo.”

“This is ridiculous, Father you can’t just toss Thorin out—“

“I can and I will! Until he see’s reason and ends this nonsense. It's either us or some unknown boyfriend.” The word dripped with distain. 

“Fine, I choose Bilbo.” Thorin had never seen his father turn such a deep shade of red before. 

“There is no coming back if you walk out those doors. I will cut you off completely.”

“Do your worst.” Thorin said as he turned to leave.

“Don’t Frerin or you will share his fate.” Thorin looked at his brother, eyes wide, pain clearly evident in them, mouth parted open to speak.

“It’s alright.” Thorin said quietly. “You know where I’ll be.” 

Thorin turned and walked out; shouting and yelling could be heard as he left but was quickly silenced when the thick door shut behind him. He took a deep breath and felt better than he had since that morning, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Where are you love? He asked the stars as he got into his car. “Please, come back to me.”

It was almost thirty-six hours later he got the call from Detective Moss; they had found Bilbo. 

***  
The room was dim, the soft beeping of several machines filled the silence, recording and blinking, doing their job as quietly as possible. Bilbo was attached to all sorts of monitors and machines; tubes and wires ran from his head, hands and chest and there was even one attached to his finger. A tube had been placed up his nose and one down his throat, most likely to help feed and breath for him.

Thorin slumped down in the only chair in the room. Memorial Medical Center intensive care unit, located all the way in Esgaroth. He had been found with no identification on him and listed as a John Doe.

Bilbo's head was wrapped up in a bandage, small tuffs of his honey curls escaping here and there. Thorin reached over and gently brushed a stray curl that lay over one of his eyes. His right arm was in a cast from wrist to shoulder, as well as both of his legs. Bandages were wrapped around his middle and against the skin that did show were horrible yellow and purple bruises, most covering his right side, even along his jaw and his eyes seemed sunk in and purple.

“Hey.” Thorin said, his voice shaky, his fingers gently traced over his lovers face. “I would have been here sooner, but, you know me. Stubborn and foolish.” His eyes were watery and he bit his lip a moment. They had put him in an induced coma, the doctor said, giving his body, and brain time to heal. He had been in some sort of horrible car accident. What he was doing in Esgaroth, Thorin didn't know. He didn't care at this point, he was just glad that Bilbo was alive and breathing.

“I told them about us, my family. Went horribly wrong; but you know what? I feel better, like a weight had been lifted I wasn’t aware was there.” Still no response and Thorin hadn’t expect one. He traced his finger over Bilbo's check and along the parts of him not covered by tape or tubes. “I moved into your place, hope you don’t mind. Kind of got disowned and fired, so looking for a job if you know anyone one.” He picked up Bilbo’s hand that was so limp and cool to the touch. He cradled it in his own and kissed the knuckles. “I have so much to make up for, if you will forgive me and still have me, that is.” Thorin leaned over and placed a kiss on his love’s forehead. “Just so you know I am not going anywhere.” He couldn't stop the tear that slid down his check.

True to his word, Thorin stayed. A few trips to the bathroom, cafeteria and the nearest hotel for a shower and change of clothes were the only times Thorin left Bilbo's side. He called Gandalf a few more times, still no answer and left several messages. Talked to Thranduil on the phone and in person when he appeared to visit. Thorin actually enjoyed bantering back and forth with the man, exasperating as it was. He even sent a few emails to Frerin and Dís, not sure how a phone call would go and not wanting to cause them grief with father. They both responded immediately; Frerin worried about him since he had stopped by Bilbo’s place and Thorin hadn’t been there, and Dis was furious he hadn’t talked to her about this before bringing it up before the family.

A week later he was pacing outside the Hospital waiting for his siblings to arrive. Thorin had given into their nagging and finally told them where he was at. They were very persistent, and a bit of blackmail may have been involved. When they arrived it wasn't just Frerin and Dís that got out, but also his mother.

“Mother?”

“Oh Thorin,” She said as she approached him and brought him down into a tight embrace. “My son.” He pulled back and they both had tears in their eyes. "How are you holding up?" Her fingers carted gently through his unkempt hair.

“What are you doing here? What if father finds out?”

“He has nothing to say in the matter if he knows what’s good for him.” She said, her voice hard as steel. “He may think he can disown you, but you are and always will be my son.”

And then Dís approached him and he turned towards here only to be slapped across his face…hard. His head jerked to the side and his ears were ringing slightly. Before he brought his head back around she was embracing him. “You stupid, moronic, idiot. Don't think we will let you go so easily brother mine."

“Love you too Dís.” Thorin said as he hugged her back.

“Now, do we get to meet this young man of yours?” His mother asked.

“Right.” He said and led them to Bilbo’s room.

“Mother, Dis, Frerin, this is Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins.” 

“Pleasure to meet you Bilbo.” His mother went to the chair and sat down and took Bilbo’s hand in her own. 

"What happened?" Frerin asked

"Not entirely sure yet." Thorin explained all that he knew.

"Will he wake soon?" Dís asked.

"That depends. So far he seems to be healing normally and they have taken him off the medication that put him into an induced coma. But he still hasn't woken up on his own yet."

"He will." Dís said firmly. 

“Well, why don't you take Thorin to get cleaned up and something to eat. I’ll watch over Mr. Baggins while you do.”

“And get you into the shower,” Frerin snickered. “And shave, when was the last time bro, you have a bush growing on your face?”

“And you are looking way to thin, need to get some food in you. What would your boyfriend say about us family members to let you live in such a state.” Dís had hooked her arm around his and his siblings began to pull him from the room.

“But, Bilbo…”

“Is in good hands.” His mother responded with a smile.

“How are you holding up?” Dís asked as they slid into the back seat of the car. He gave Frerin the address to where his hotel was.

“As well as can be expected.” Thorin grateful sank back and she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into her. 

“I have to agree with Frerin, though…you stink”

Thorin chuckled, “Why did mom come with you? How is everyone else doing?”

“She's worried about you, and furious with father. He’s still angry by the way, but there was no way mom was going to let him NOT see you. I think I heard divorce, alimony and at least half of what he owns in one of their arguments.”

“Oh good lord, I’m surprised he hasn’t had a heart attack.”

“That’s why you didn’t tell us earlier isn’t it.” Dís asked quietly.

“Mmhmm. When Bilbo and I started getting serious we argued and talked about it for a long time. Bilbo was the one worried about me. His parents passed away a while ago and had been pretty much on his own since then so he wasn’t too worried about himself. But he just couldn’t see me loosing you guys, knowing fathers opinion on gay rights issues. And then Grandfather fell ill and things got stressful for all of us for a long while, so we waited. Which turned into a year and here we are now.”

“He sounds like a great guy.”

“He is.” Thorin smiled.

“Well, anyone who can make you smile and stand up to father has got my vote. Still, you owe me for not saying anything. I can’t believe you kept it secret for two years.” Dís shook her head. 

They stopped at the hotel and Thorin showered and changed but decided last minute to keep the beard. There was a decent Italian restaurant nearby and Thorin hadn't realized how hungry he was until the smell hit him. It wasn't as if he wasn't eating, but having Hospital food for over a week had lessened his appetite. Bilbo was going to hate it when he woke. Thorin didn't even say anything as Frerin pushed over a good portion of his own meal to him.

“You’re thinking about him.” Frerin stated.

“What?”

“Oh you totally are. I have no idea how we missed it this whole time. You haven’t been as angry or biting people’s heads off as you normally would.”

"What are you talking about?" Thorin argued. "I'm not that bad."

Frerin laughed. "Please, even Margaret in payroll, gets a glimpse of you and runs the other way when you're scowling."

“Does he like to shop?”

“Shop?”

“You know, does he like to shop, musicals, wine.”

“Good Lord no. We all don’t fall into that category.”

“Obviously.” Frerin said as he looked him up and down.

“Okay, fine, he knows more about music, clothes and good food then I do. But he isn't like that. In fact there are times he gets so lost in his thoughts that he puts on mismatched socks or shoes and I have to send him back in to change.”

Dís giggled. “Seriously, you’re joking.”

“No, wait until he’s home, you’ll see for yourself. He’s a writer so sometimes his mind is too far away to be bothered with our world, at least that’s what he claims. But his cooking…” Thorin made some frustrated noise. “I miss his cooking the most.”

Their conversation continued, pleasant as he told them about Bilbo. It was refreshing and a bit stress relieving and when they returned back at the Hospital, he had a quiet chat with his mother.

“He seems like a wonderful man, I hope to meet him properly, and soon.”

“Me too.” Thorin told her as warmth bloomed through his chest. He hugged her tightly and then walked them back out.

Dwalin came the next day with Balin. They sat and chatted as they caught up with each other. It took him a while but he finally found out what Dwalin had been doing.

"I-I don't know what to say." Thorin stared at his cousin and close friend. Dwalin's checks were slightly pink and Balin just chuckled next to him.

"And the woman just love him. So much so that it takes a month to get in."

Thorin just blinked, like his brain had shut down and was trying to reboot. Dwalin, hairdressing, salon.

"Carlos has been having him take classes on being a Masseur. The salon is also a day spa, so you can imagine how much more popular it will become when those women can get Dwalin's hands on them." Balin chuckled. " They take one look at the size of his hands and rip their own clothes off just to have him rub oil onto them."

"It's more to it than that." Dwalin grunted. "Thorin, say something. Your starting to scare me."

"I just...I don't...you are going to have to show me this place." Thorin said and then grinned. 

Dwalin just grunted. "Actually, having you strut around will have Carlos salivating. Bring in more woman clients and some men too I'd imagine." Thorin sputtered at that. "Ah, don't take any offence, Carlos is truly gay where you are... well, you."

"Ah, thanks?"

The next several days went on in this manner, his family showing up, one or two at a time, making sure he was taking care of himself, listening to stories about Bilbo. Everyone but his father; which was really no surprise.

He had just made his way out of the bathroom and was settling down for the night in the world's most uncomfortable chair/bed imaginable when a soft noise moved his attention towards Bilbo's face. Brown eyes were looking up at the ceiling, his forehead slightly creased as he kept blinking trying to get them to focus. 

"Bilbo," Thorin whispered and rushed over to his side, gently touching one side of his face. Those eyes turned to him and focused on him. 

"Thorin?" His voice was harsh, soft. His tongue darted out to dry and wet a dry mouth. "Wh...what's going on? Where... where am I?"

"Shhh, here now, don't struggle. You're in the hospital." 

"Hospital?"

"Yes. Wait a minute." Thorin pressed the nurses call button.

"Mmm." Bilbo groaned a bit as he shifted.

"Are you in pain?" 

"Yes." Bilbo huffed out. The nurse came in then along with her aid as they took vitals and asked Bilbo all sorts of questions. Thorin hovered at his side where he could keep his eye on Bilbo. He noticed that Bilbo's eyes darted in his directions several times as well. 

"I've given him some pain meds and he will most likely go back to sleep. I'm going to page the doctor on call tonight and let them know that he was woken up."

"Thank you." Thorin whispered, eyes still on Bilbo as he went to sit back down. He never saw the small soft smile the nurse gave him as she walked out. Thorin only had eyes for his one. "I love you." Thorin told him, as he gently ran a through brown curls and one intertwined with Bilbo's hand that was mostly free of tubes.

A small smile bloomed on Bilbo's face and his eyes tried to stay open but it was a fast losing battle. 

"'Ove uu too." He mumbled before he was asleep once more. Thorin felt nothing but relief and joy and closed his eyes giving thanks to whoever was there to listen.

***

"It's so good to finally meet you." Dís said as she shook Bilbo's hand.

"Too be fair, we've already met you, but you just sleep through the whole thing." Frerin said and then grunted in pan from the elbow Dís jabbed into his side.

"So I hear." Bilbo grumbled, not to happy to hear that Thorin had his entire family in to met him while he lay in a coma. 

"Don't worry, you were the perfect host, no puking, farting or other embarrassing body functions took place." Bilbo's face turned bright red at Frerin's comment.

"Frerin," Thorin growled. Bilbo only waved him off and reached for Thorin's hand. He seemed to do that a lot, as if he thought Thorin wouldn't be there for some reason. Bilbo's memory was still fuzzy and he was suffering from some short term amnesia, which the doctor said was normal. He may recall the events that happened or he may never recall them at all. The last thing Bilbo remembered was finishing his manuscript and discussing his contract with Greenleaf publishing. Thorin hoped Bilbo would never remember that ugly fight, or the things he had said. His beloved knew that something had happened between them, but was waiting for Thorin to fill him in. Which he would eventually, when he didn't feel like such an ass about it.

"I'm just sorry I couldn't be there for him, when he finally told you. You know, about us."

"It was a bit of shocker."

"Not because of the news about you two." Dís corrected as she glared at Frerin before turning back to him. "It was the whole circumstance you understand. I've never seen Thorin so distraught before."

"I think I have some new grey hairs." Thorin muttered.

Bilbo looked at him those brown eyes searching his hair. "You're as gorgeous as ever." A hand reached up and ran through his short beard. "I really like this."

"Thought you would." He mumbled, smile on his lips.

"Can't wait until we're back home to ..."

Someone cleared their throat and Thorin flushed as he remembered his siblings were still in the room.

"Wow." Dís said. "I...wow."

Frerin reached over and clasped Bilbo's hand, with all seriousness. "You sir, must be some sort of magical creature because I have never, in all my days, have seen Thorin so besotted before."

"Knock it off." Thorin swatted at his brother, pushing him back and taking Bilbo's hand and kissing where Frerin had touch him. Then he leaned over and kissed Bilbo softly and gently on the lips, pulling back to look into his eyes. "But he's right you know. You have my heart completely." He quickly stole another kiss before sitting back, enjoying the blush across Bilbo's face and the speechlessness from Dís and Frerin.

***

Bilbo tossed and turned, whimpers escaped him which Thorin woke to and pulled him into his arms, rubbing soothing hands up and down his back.

"It's alright, shhh, I have you, it's alright." They had been home just a few days and it was taking a bit of an adjustment. 

"Thorin?"

"Yes love, I'm here." Bilbo took a few deep breaths. 

"Are you in pain? Do you need some meds?" Bilbo nodded and Thorin gently pulled away and reached over to the night stand and shook out a pill and picked up the glass of water that was there for that purpose. Bilbo took his pill and laid back down. His arm would be in the cast for several more weeks and he still had some physical therapy and work that needed to be done on his legs. They weren't broken, but had been torn up enough that required quite a bit of repair an many stitches. His memory still had not come back fully. "Want to talk about it?'

"It was confusing." Bilbo whispered. "Just a lot of colors and voices I don't remember. And then Lotho's face. Oh god, I can't, I don't know if I want to remember what happened." Thorin gently pulled him close and rubbed his back comfortingly.

"I'm here for you whatever happens." Bilbo sighed and relaxed in his arms. He tipped his head back and Thorin kissed his forehead. "Go back to sleep." Bilbo gave him a soft smile as his eyes closed and Thorin tightened his hold just slightly. He could have lost him which terrified Thorin.

The police were able to piece together some sort of story. Lotho's call for a ride, unexpectedly in Dale, drunk. He knew Bilbo's number and called him for a ride since he was broke and so shitfaced he couldn't remember where he was staying. Bilbo left to get him immediately and his jacket ended up on Lotho that contained Bilbo's phone and an old business card of Thorin's. After that things get a little more muddled. The police were still looking into the case. Lotho must have gotten involved with some shady characters and something had gone wrong, which ended up involving Bilbo. 

The car they had pulled Bilbo from was nothing but twisted metal and gave Thorin his own nightmares. He had always heard the saying you don't know what you have until its gone. Truth is, he knew what he had, Thorin just never thought he would lose it. He knew better now and was going to hold on, fight for , and prove himself worthy of it.

A soft tug of his hair got his attention and he looked back down at his beloved. Bilbo's soft smile warmed his hart. One of his hands slid to the side of his face and tugged gently until Thorin's lips pressed against his. 

"I love you." His sleepy voice said as they pulled apart. "Always."

"Always" Thorin repeated with a smile of his own and shifted until they were both comfortable. No matter what was thrown at them, they would do it together.


End file.
